Story of my life. I tried to get into it after my break-up last year because some of my friends went all the time… I always left in tears. They’re like massive hubs of rape culture.
(Source: getgrowing)
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Everything I love, I will devour.
I drink too much, I fall in love too fast, and I talk a lot of shit about Broadway actors.
~ Friday, January 20 ~
1,848 notes
~ Tuesday, January 17 ~
![thecultofcraze:
cleavagepriestess:
thecultofcraze:
doubtingansley:
I don’t know why these pamphlets piss me off so much but I just find them so offensive.
I think I figured it out. It’s because there was no pamphlet next to it saying, “Safeguards against BEING a sexual predator.”
Because sexual predators KNOW they’re fucked up. Sexual predators KNOW it’s wrong to rape, to molest, sexually assault. They already know it, because EVERYONE KNOWS IT. Pedophiles know they’re fucked up, they know it’s wrong to be attracted to children. Rapists know it’s fucked up, and that it’s wrong to force someone into a sexual act against their will. THEY ALREADY KNOW IT IS WRONG.
They just don’t give a fuck. They know it’s wrong, but they don’t care, so they’re going to do it anyway. A rapists defense is never going to be “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong.” Even sociopaths know rape and sexual assault is wrong.
THAT’S why pamphlets like this exist. There’s noting wrong with knowing how to protect yourself against people who KNOW doing something is wrong, but are going to fucking do it anyway.
BUT THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPID IT MAKES ME WANT TO HIT THINGS!!!
I will never ever ever understand how wanting to protect yourself is victim-blaming. Ever.
I’m not saying that anyone ever deserves to be rapes or assaulted, let’s get that out there before it even gets mentioned. No one, regardless of how much they had to drink, what they were wearing, doing or saying at any point, deserves to be a victim of rape and/or sexual assault. Ever. No matter what.
BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT VICTIM BLAMING TO KNOW HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF. It doesn’t make it victim blaming to have a friend watching your back and ready to help you out of you get drunker than you were planning. It doesn’t make it victim blaming to keep your drink within your sights at all times and to not accept opened drinks (or glasses of whatever) from people you don’t know. It doesn’t make it victim blaming to know how to effectively defend yourself against a rapist, should you be put in that position.
I don’t understand how defending yourself and keeping yourself safe translates into victim blaming.
I guess they view it as victim-blaming because a common defence when in court must be “Oh miss, were you scantily clad and drunk? Yes? Then you should’ve known better!” etc
The weird thing is that looking after yourself is something that has to be done no matter who you are (as pointed out on that leaflet) and it’s not just about sexual assault. I mean, you wouldn’t want to be mugged or stabbed either, right? Shit like staying in a group, keeping out of bad areas late at night and not being so drunk you’re unable to stand helps keep you safe.
But you know, “[they] shouldn’t have to do all that!”. The world should really be sugar and rainbows and getting to run naked through the streets at night! If it weren’t for cis-men they could totally do that! Damn penis-owners and their privilege!
That actually WAS a heavily used defense in courts, along with questioning a victims morality and sexual activities and history and so on. THAT IS victim-blaming. However (at least in the US, I can’t speak for anywhere else), defense attorney’s are not allowed to bring a victims actions or sexual history into play, unless the door has been opened by the prosecution. That’s not what this is about though. This is about prevention. This is about someone doing what they can to keep themselves out of a potentially bad situation, and getting themselves out of it if they find themselves in one anyway.
This is about the mentality of “Teach People Not to Rape, instead of teaching someone to defend themselves from rape” (I refuse to put “teach men not to rape” because there are male rape victims as well). Society and parents and school already teach that rape and sexual assault is wrong. We already teach not to rape. Hell, we teach children not to touch each other in any way possible without the other person’s permission. Pamphlets like this are needed because, even though we already teach these things, as I said before, people who are rape or sexually assault don’t care.
If I ever have the misfortune to be raped again, I’ll know I did everything in my power to prevent it from happening. I’d rather defend myself than blame society for one person’s actions.
I’m just going to leave this here so you guys can (hopefully) come to my aid.
cultofcraze, I’d love for you to give me a pamphlet that could have taught me how to keep my boyfriend from raping me.
Oh, wait. Maybe someone should have taught him NOT TO RAPE ME. And he’s not a sociopath. He’s a normal boy who genuinely didn’t “know” what he was doing was rape. So please, explain what I could have done.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrjeeywScP1qgaddao1_1280.png)
I don’t know why these pamphlets piss me off so much but I just find them so offensive.
I think I figured it out. It’s because there was no pamphlet next to it saying, “Safeguards against BEING a sexual predator.”
Because sexual predators KNOW they’re fucked up. Sexual predators KNOW it’s wrong to rape, to molest, sexually assault. They already know it, because EVERYONE KNOWS IT. Pedophiles know they’re fucked up, they know it’s wrong to be attracted to children. Rapists know it’s fucked up, and that it’s wrong to force someone into a sexual act against their will. THEY ALREADY KNOW IT IS WRONG.
They just don’t give a fuck. They know it’s wrong, but they don’t care, so they’re going to do it anyway. A rapists defense is never going to be “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong.” Even sociopaths know rape and sexual assault is wrong.
THAT’S why pamphlets like this exist. There’s noting wrong with knowing how to protect yourself against people who KNOW doing something is wrong, but are going to fucking do it anyway.
BUT THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPID IT MAKES ME WANT TO HIT THINGS!!!
I will never ever ever understand how wanting to protect yourself is victim-blaming. Ever.
I’m not saying that anyone ever deserves to be rapes or assaulted, let’s get that out there before it even gets mentioned. No one, regardless of how much they had to drink, what they were wearing, doing or saying at any point, deserves to be a victim of rape and/or sexual assault. Ever. No matter what.
BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT VICTIM BLAMING TO KNOW HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF. It doesn’t make it victim blaming to have a friend watching your back and ready to help you out of you get drunker than you were planning. It doesn’t make it victim blaming to keep your drink within your sights at all times and to not accept opened drinks (or glasses of whatever) from people you don’t know. It doesn’t make it victim blaming to know how to effectively defend yourself against a rapist, should you be put in that position.
I don’t understand how defending yourself and keeping yourself safe translates into victim blaming.
I guess they view it as victim-blaming because a common defence when in court must be “Oh miss, were you scantily clad and drunk? Yes? Then you should’ve known better!” etc
The weird thing is that looking after yourself is something that has to be done no matter who you are (as pointed out on that leaflet) and it’s not just about sexual assault. I mean, you wouldn’t want to be mugged or stabbed either, right? Shit like staying in a group, keeping out of bad areas late at night and not being so drunk you’re unable to stand helps keep you safe.
But you know, “[they] shouldn’t have to do all that!”. The world should really be sugar and rainbows and getting to run naked through the streets at night! If it weren’t for cis-men they could totally do that! Damn penis-owners and their privilege!
That actually WAS a heavily used defense in courts, along with questioning a victims morality and sexual activities and history and so on. THAT IS victim-blaming. However (at least in the US, I can’t speak for anywhere else), defense attorney’s are not allowed to bring a victims actions or sexual history into play, unless the door has been opened by the prosecution. That’s not what this is about though. This is about prevention. This is about someone doing what they can to keep themselves out of a potentially bad situation, and getting themselves out of it if they find themselves in one anyway.
This is about the mentality of “Teach People Not to Rape, instead of teaching someone to defend themselves from rape” (I refuse to put “teach men not to rape” because there are male rape victims as well). Society and parents and school already teach that rape and sexual assault is wrong. We already teach not to rape. Hell, we teach children not to touch each other in any way possible without the other person’s permission. Pamphlets like this are needed because, even though we already teach these things, as I said before, people who are rape or sexually assault don’t care.
If I ever have the misfortune to be raped again, I’ll know I did everything in my power to prevent it from happening. I’d rather defend myself than blame society for one person’s actions.
I’m just going to leave this here so you guys can (hopefully) come to my aid.
cultofcraze, I’d love for you to give me a pamphlet that could have taught me how to keep my boyfriend from raping me.
Oh, wait. Maybe someone should have taught him NOT TO RAPE ME. And he’s not a sociopath. He’s a normal boy who genuinely didn’t “know” what he was doing was rape. So please, explain what I could have done.
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[Trigger Warning: Intense Victim Blaming]
Shit people say to rape victims
Though the original videos that started this meme were meant to be funny, this one is extremely serious. Victim blaming is a huge problem in our society and creates a culture in which survivors are afraid to report or even tell friends/family about what they experienced.
Some of these lines may seem ridiculous, but they are often common first reactions when survivors’ share their stories.
(Source: facebook.com)
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~ Monday, January 16 ~
“ Boys are told from a young age that whatever they do will be excused under the “boys will be boys” mantra, and that “boys will be boys” mentality leads to what I call the “boiling frog” problem of women’s sexual boundaries. I call it that because if you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump right out, but if you put a frog into a pot of room-temperature water and slowly heat it to a boil, the frog will acclimate as it heats and never jump out, eventually boiling to death. Similarly, when we learn as young girls to tolerate “low-level” boundary violations like the ones we often are forced to suffer in silence at school, at home and on the street – bra-snapping, boob-grabbing, ass pinching, catcalling, dick flashing “all in good fun” relentless violations that adults and authorities routinely ignore – it makes it harder for us to notice when even greater boundaries are being violated, eventually leading to the reality that many women who are raped just freeze and fall silent, because that’s what they’ve been taught to do over and over since day one. You tell me what’s more infantilizing: repeatedly letting boys (and grown men) off the hook for their behavior because “boys will be boys” and we can’t ever expect any differently, or creating a consent standard in which all partners take active responsibility for their partner’s safety, and which acknowledges the truly diseased sexual culture we’re soaking in every day.
Tags:
TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN WRITTEN
rape culture
—
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/the-nonexistent-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-consequences-of-enthusiastic-consent/ (via zoemelisa)
Truth.
(via edman)
Reblogged for truth.
Two years ago, the daughter of a friend of mine, who is the same age as my daughter (we are talking second grade at the time) was accosted by a boy their age on the playground at school. The boy kept grabbing her in the crotch, and laughing, as if it was a game because it was upsetting her.
She told their teacher, who did everything right and called the school psychologist, and all the parents.
The school? Hushed it up, or tried to. The school psychologist kept excusing it away as “things kids do”. My friend was told that it wasn’t like it was sexual assault or anything, because they were only seven. A boy of seven can’t sexually assault a girl the same age, you see. It’s impossible. Dontcha know.
The psychologist went as far as to tell them all that if my friend’s daughter was ‘rewarded’ with attention for making a big deal out of something so slight as kids playing, that she was going to learn that she could “use something like this in the future for attention”.
We live in a rape culture, folks. A world where a seven year old girl can be sexually assaulted and then told that she is wrong and only looking for attention when she has the courage to speak out against what was perpetrated against her.
We are put in the pot as babies, and the kyriarchy keeps turning the heat up gradually as we grow.
(via ouyangdan)
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~ Thursday, January 12 ~
Is it just me or is this dripping in rape culture?
(Source: superpunch2)
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~ Monday, January 2 ~
This is a video that nikosnature posted on his facebook earlier. I’ll post my comments, but I genuinely want to know what you guys think of it.
Ok, I’m sorry. I couldn’t finish watching this because I wanted to vomit.
As a Christian woman, this is an argument that I hear over and over again and, frankly, I lose so much respect for the men who make it every time I hear it.
Don’t you dare blame me for your sin or your indiscretion. Simply seeing a woman dressed provocatively is not a sin. What’s a sin is what you decide to do with that sensory input. If you go and fantasize in your head or masturbate that is YOUR sin and has absolutely nothing to do with me.
Be a man and take some responsibility for what’s going on in your head and the fact that you can’t see women as anything other than sex objects to be fantasized about or to tempt you to sin.
As Nu said before, what about the countless women who are sexually assaulted in completely “modest” clothes? Rape and sexual assault has nothing to do with sexual attraction and everything to do with power and misogyny. But that’s a different story and I don’t think that’s entirely what the preacher is getting at.
It has the same theme, though. It’s blaming women for the actions of men.
I don’t get up in the morning and say, “Hmm… What should I wear so that no man I meet will lust after me?” That would be practically impossible and frankly, IT IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. I am more than what I wear. I am more than something to be lusted after.
You say that this has nothing to do with rape but it does. That’s what rape culture is. It permeates every part of our society and hides itself in really sneaky ways, but this one is blatant so I’m a bit disturbed that you don’t recognize it. I’m not saying these men are rapists but the attitude is the same. It’s the same culture who looks at a woman who was raped and asks her why she was dressed so provocatively, or why she drank so much, or why she walked home alone.
I just can’t stand the testimonials from “poor Christian men” who are constantly tempted by the harlots around them. There are men that will fantasize about any woman in front of them regardless of what they’re wearing. The temptation lies in the fact that she’s a woman, not what she’s wearing; just as temptation to rape lies in power and control, not sexual attraction.
Avoiding sin, as I said before lies squarely on the sinner’s shoulders. It is not my responsibility to “help” you not sin just as it’s not my responsibility to “help” you not rape me.
I know this goes further than the video but you have to understand this is the attitude you’re promoting when you endorse misogynistic propaganda like this. This 2012, not the 1800s. I feel like I’m reading the Scarlett Letter listening to this stuff…
Also, what the hell, I’ll just put it all out there. The boy who sexually assaulted me for months when I was 17 used to threaten me and get me to wear baggy t-shirts and jeans so that other men wouldn’t be attracted to me. What I wore didn’t change the fact that he still abused me.
So, sorry if I don’t have sympathy for this self-centered, abusive mentality toward women.
You can’t call yourself a “feminist” (as most Catholics do) and try to police what women wear for the betterment of men.
For the record, it’s not you I’m mad at, it’s the attitude. I would just like you to recognize that what you posted is ultimately hurtful toward women and potentially very triggering and dripping with misogyny and praise for rape culture.
24 notes
~ Friday, December 30 ~
The triggers never truly go away.
I’m at an improv show with my brother and some friends and they just did a scene about a guy trying as hard as he could to get a girl in the back of his car.
Is rape culture funny?
4 notes
~ Tuesday, November 29 ~
I can’t believe I just tweeted that. Therapy is making me very, very brave.
9 notes
~ Monday, November 28 ~
My rapist doesn’t know he’s a rapist. He saw “no” as a fun game we played. It wasn’t.
(Source: isobutane)
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~ Thursday, November 10 ~
Posts that have made me click the 
button
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My screen names from last night's TinyChat:
whenkimwalkerlaughs
burnthemessage
robbell5ever
imettheloveofmylifeondeigratia -
newyorktopaloalto asked: UM SO TOMMY IS EXACTLY LIKE DAVID. I ALSO LOVE THIS SHOW MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. I'M JUST SO EXCITED. UGH.
YES! HE IS LIKE DAVID BUT WITH A GUN.
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